47 is the highest number of requests for help I personally have received in 1 day. Now, this does not include our normal requests, such as energy matching, diapers, blankets, etc.  Though last winter we had 95 requests for the energy matching in 1 day.

These were people approaching me at the store, the post office, gas station, and the center. Additionally, calls on my cell or at the center. The requests range from a bag of chips to money. Some just shout out their requests, others start in on their story, or reason for the request, and saying no often leads to the next level of the story. Sometimes, saying no leads to being yelled at or cussed out.

Honestly, I have gotten used to being looked at as a walking atm.

But I am tired.

I am tired of being asked repeatedly by the same people. People who do not take responsibility for their situation for their decisions. They want to blame others for their life.

They can either be defined by their past trauma or they can use it to change. When they wollow in the past, they do not grow. I am not saying they need to forget their past issues. They can’t. Rather, they should address it and grow.

They do nothing to make their lives better but expect me to help.

I want to help.

I am tired of enabling.

I believe it was Einstein who defined insanity as doing the same thing, expecting different results. To many of the people I deal with, repeat the same mistakes.

Sometimes it is a bad boyfriend or girlfriend. They hurt them, and yet they take them back because this time they are going to change. Nope. A couple weeks later, it is “Pastor Dan, I really am done with them.” But I know that a few days later, they are back together.  “He promised me he would change.” Or “he is really shy, don’t judge him.”

Now, I do understand that changing can be hard. I do not expect the path to be smooth. Recovery of any type has its ups and downs.

As long as the person is truly trying, I will help them, stumbles, and all. But the intent to change must be real.

I actually had a drunk person ask me when we would reopen the shelter for those who don’t want to get sober. Or who complain about their lives but don’t want to change expecting others to make it better for them.

I am tired.

Others have complained that I have favorites.  I admit it I do. I favor those who are trying.

People need to take responsibility for their actions. For their decisions.

We love them no matter what. But boundaries serve both sides.