Some times it catches up with you.

Some times it catches up with you.

I serve in what has been called one of the hardest positions in my church body. Every day, I deal with pain , suffering, heartache, and even death. I watch people deal with drugs, alcohol, health issues, hunger, violence, and suffering. Sometimes, the suffering is self-imposed with people grieving or punishing themselves for past actions.…

pastordaninsd

December 12, 2023

2–3 minutes

help each other.

I serve in what has been called one of the hardest positions in my church body.

Every day, I deal with pain , suffering, heartache, and even death. I watch people deal with drugs, alcohol, health issues, hunger, violence, and suffering. Sometimes, the suffering is self-imposed with people grieving or punishing themselves for past actions.

Every day, I have to watch the crabs in a pot mentally. If someone is trying to make their lives better, others will pull them back down to their level. At times, this is luring them with drugs or alcohol. Other times, it is actions that pull the person down.

We see this often with people who go away for addiction treatment. They come back clean and sober ready for a fresh start. But with a lack of solid options they end up with their old crowd of people who pull them back into the addiction.

We had one guy who was so excited about being sober. We had helped him arrange for a job in Rapid City. He was doing well. Then his ride fell through. He was stuck in town for the weekend. That Saturday night he fell off and drank. He came to church the next morning and passed out.

One of the things I hate most is when people demean people who are truly trying to change their lives. We are working with some young adults who are attempting the hardest thing they have done. Staying clean sober and focused on the future. Yet, some people in authority are telling them they will not make it and that they are wasting my time and effort. They say mean things questioning the abilities of these young people.

This is a problem for me.

I firmly believe that people will live into what is expected of them. If others are saying they won’t make it they can start to believe it and live into that expectation. I may be an optimist but I think if you set high standards and give people support they will live up to the expectations.

Think about it. If everyone says that you are no good and have no worth, if you are constantly put down and belittled. Don’t you start to live into that expectation?

Dam. This world is hard enough.

We need to lift people up. We need to celebrate positive movement. We are literally burying too many people. We need to stop burying them while they are alive.

I am admittedly struggling right now. I am tired of seeing pain and suffering. I am tired of having to watch people hurt each other. I am tired of feeling like we are not helping. I am tired of feeling like I can’t help anyone.

8 responses to “Some times it catches up with you.”

Jane Perrin

December 12, 2023 at 9:32 am

God has given you a calling few of us could do. I pray for your strength to help so many. I was thinking of you before my prayers one evening and realized if you weren’t there who would care for your flock? God answered I have the right soul for this. He is strong and gentle he can bury my children or pick them up in hard times. The Serenity Prayer comes to mind as it says it all God bless you today and always
Jane P.

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1. pastordaninsd
  
  December 12, 2023 at 9:33 am
  
  Thank you Jane. It is God’s calling on me.
  
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Andrea W. Holcomb

December 12, 2023 at 3:19 pm

Pastor Dan, it is good that you have gotten your anger and frustration out of your head and onto the paper to share with others, that has always helped me to move forward. I hope it will help you.

It is sad when an addicted person tries, only to be put down by outside sources. I have a friend who finally was able to secure a job after many months of staying dry, and the first paycheck was taken by the government to pay some fines. I am not saying that he is not responsible to pay his fines, but how deflating it was for him to have every penny taken.

I admire you that you are able to continue ministering to the people of Pine Ridge. They are blessed to have you.
I will pray that God will give you the courage, strength and energy to carry on.
Your sister in Christ.
Andrea Holcomb

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1. pastordaninsd
  
  December 12, 2023 at 8:39 am
  
  Thank you so much for the support. It is nice to get comments. Sometimes I wonder if anyone reads these
  
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  1. Andrea W. Holcomb
    
    December 12, 2023 at 11:14 pm
    
    I always read them, but this is the first time I have commented. I think many people forget that Pastors are human and once in a while it’s good to ask our pastors, ‘how are you doing’? We all need to feel appreciated, and I am sure you are by your flock.
    
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KE

December 13, 2023 at 2:50 am

I’ve seen that type of behavior around addiction with my husband’s family and it’s so frustrating; I think “don’t you want the best for your family? Why don’t you support them instead of undermining them?” But I’ve come to believe that’s my privilege talking…people who don’t have their basic needs met or are fighting addiction may not have the emotional wherewithal to provide support or encouragement for others. Or they may have complex emotions like jealousy that the person is changing or fear of being left behind that drive them to act in unhelpful ways even towards people they truly care about. It’s hard to watch for sure. I hope those you are supporting can find compassion for the negative people while building healthy boundaries to stay away from the destructive behavior.

I visited the Reconciliation Center for a nursing school immersion program pre-Covid. Although we met many warm and welcoming people, I found the magnitude of challenges in the community overwhelming….and I was there one week. I can’t imagine the toll it takes on you to wake up, day in and day out, and attempt to address the needs of the community while being respectful of the culture and dignity of those you serve. It’s really a special ministry, but there is a cost.

Are you familiar with the concept of compassion fatigue or secondary trauma? It sounds like you may be experiencing a bit of that, and given the challenges in Pine Ridge, I’d be shocked if you weren’t. Please take care of yourself, because what you are doing there is incredibly valuable.

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Wanda Frenchman

December 13, 2023 at 3:17 am

Pastor! I am grateful for your service to the Lakota people. You have taken on a challenge that’s been 100 years in the making. You can’t undo all those years of damage that was put upon the people to leave them in the state they are now. I believe that God has sent you there to try and to bring the good word to those who need to hear it most- the lost, the hopeless, those in despair and at the depths so low they can’t see the light you carry. Please don’t give up. The people need you and I know days like today take their toll, but you’re making a difference in people’s lives. We at Native American Urban Ministry will hold you in our prayers, for healing and strength and determination to get through another day. Thank you and Blessings to you, your family and your ministry. Wanda & Pastor Mary Louise Frenchman

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1. John Moyle
  
  December 13, 2023 at 3:58 am
  
  Pastor Dan, one of the highlights of my year was visiting you and your team at the Pine Ridge Reconciliation Center. The Oakbrook Church team was so impressed by the ministry that you conduct on a daily basis. We met so many people whose lives had been so positively impacted by your work. During that week, every one of us was encouraged in our own faith and inspired to pursue our own callings more vigorously. Thank you for all that you have done and continue to do for the people of Pine Ridge. Thank you for faithfully following Jesus and pursuing your unique calling.
  
  I hope to make another trip with more folks from Oakbrook in 2024. Blessings to you, brother.
  
  With much love,
  
  – John
  
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