If you have been following this blog you have seen that I am struggling. Now to be clear I am still committed to the ministry we are doing and I am going nowhere.

But I am struggling.

This is actually a positive post.

I recently had a conversation with Abram. Abram is our partner in running the homeless shelter. He has been on the reservation for 8+ years. He is someone who understands what I am dealing with in a personal way.  Being an outsider and seeing those same things I see, dealing with the same issues, He gets it.

He talked with me after I was struggling with a recent difficult decision. 

He mentioned that he also went through a similar emotional roller coaster, after a similar amount of time on the reservation. That after 3+ years we truly see what we are working with. We are getting to know people deeper. We are developing relationships. But we are also seeing more of the pain that people live with every day.

He assured me that he dealt with some of the same questions that I am struggling with. That he had some of the same emotions I have.

It gets better.

There is power in those simple words.

It gets better.

I know God has me here for a reason. I know we are making a difference.  I know lives have been and are being changed. I know that people are alive today because of the work we do. I have been reminded of the many people who are better off because we are here.

It is a had gig. In some opinions, perhaps the hardest job in the ELCA. And I love it.  I love sharing God’s love with the people I am blessed to be with. I love seeing the changes in people. In being able, if only for a little while,  to be able to brighten the world for people. To be able to bring some light in to the darkness. To shine the light of Christ with my actions.

I was reminded by another friend that most things that are worth doing are hard. Which is why most people don’t try to do hard things.

God has called me here. I am here, not for simple things. Rather, I am here because it is hard, and God wants me here.

God loves you. God loves the people I am called to serve. And so do I.