If you spend any time with me, you will likely learn that I DO NOT like paperwork.

Back in my youth ministry days, I would say to the kids that they could not do anything that caused me paperwork. And they would reply, “cause Dan doesn’t like paperwork.”

Recently, I was battling some depression. It really was a number of things eating at me. Mostly a lack of hope for the people we work with. I struggled to see a future for them. I struggled to see progress. I struggled to see how I was making a difference.

(Thanks to all who offered support to me based upon my last post.)

Yesterday, I had a chance to speak with Abram (he runs the day to day operations of the homeless shelter). He is a great support since he truly understands what we are dealing with each day. During the conversation, he told me of many different successes. I mentioned that I had felt jealousy when I read one of his Facebook posts talking about the meetings he runs. I felt like I was not having an impact. How was I making a difference?

Now, in fairness to Abram, our division of responsibilities has always been engaged in the day-to-day activities, and my role is more administrative. Basically, I am in a director role in all of the ministries we run. Others meet with the clients for the energy match program and run the Kid’s Time program. Most of my interactions are with my staff and being the public face to supporters and others.

I do the paperwork. Lots of paperwork.

Reports to the state housing group and HUD for the grant. Applying for more funding. I do the database work of sponsors sending newsletters. Keep track of the finances. Submit information to the synod. Send contracts to immersion groups. Taking care of submitting payroll. I spend a lot of time keeping supplies in stock. Purchasing could be a full-time job.

The times that I can spend with the kids are always fun but rare. I have gotten to know more people but I don’t really know them.

Listening to Abram helped me see that we are doing good work and helping people. We are giving them hope. We discussed my getting out of the office and interacting directly with the people. I like this. I spent time with several of the clients, and I saw the hope we are providing.

I plan to spend more time doing what I had planned to do when Jackie and I decided to come to Pine Ridge. I came wanting to make a difference and help people.

I KNOW, I know that I am helping. I know we are making a difference. It helps to see it directly. I know the administrative details are important. If I don’t do that portion of my job, we can’t do the work we do. It just is not fulfilling.

I am doing better. Yes, some of the struggles I worry about are still there. I have a better perspective.

It was the paperwork! That is my story and and I am sticking to it. God loves you, and so do I.